it’s been quite some time since i updated, i havent been active on posting anywhere actually. i had a long weekend and i wasted pretty much all of it, semi on purpose, but surprise surprise it made me feel worse. it was supposed to be a good weekend because my boyfriend was going to visit but that didnt end up happening because of outside circumstances (to put it one way) so i just spent 5 days in my bed doing nothing.
as for this website i’ve had like 0 motivation to even browse neocities, much less update any pages. i have no inspiration and the way my code is rn makes me mad……….i wanted to write more but i get so nervous to publish things on here..

worked hard 2day to make up a lot of missed work... i hate being at school sm it's so humiliating and boring. i hate my situation but the only way out is through

my boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 months, we r long distance. i was on call with him today and decided to do my makeup because i was going out to dinner with my family. on the call things were going okay but i made a couple jokes about him “thinking about other girls” which i now realize are in bad taste (tbh i think it’s just a way of me trying to get validation without directly asking for it, which is a problem obvs) but i alwasy make jokes like that. then he’s like, are you really going out to dinner or just cheating on me??? and im like what… where do you get that conclusion from… and he kept insisting on it idk. then he was like can you send pictures of you at dinner with them? and that pissed me off because why cant he just trust im going to dinner with my parents.. literally gave him 0 reason to think otherwise. i hung up after that but i texted him asking why cant he just believe me and then said i was acting strange because of the jokes. it really wasnt uncharacteristic imo but i guess hes insecure. like i knew he was the jealous type so us being long distance doesnt help at all and i try to reassure him but it’s never enough. he just texted me and is apologizing and i think he knows hes wrong but it’s still frustrating. anyways
i learned the intro of isnt she lovely on the piano, it was pretty easy. my brother knows how to play it on bass so maybe ill learn the rest so i can accompany him. i finished my computer science project but didn’t do much else schoolwork. my dad made some really good pork tonkatsu. lazy sunday…

Lots of stuff happened today , it was a day of substance. Not much to report back on for here, though. I have been thinking about this page a lot : what to fill the righthand column with. The font is probably too small.. viewed it on PC and didn’t like it so much … but I will leave it and I like the tomato guy. (EDIT: JK HES GONE) i want to put more indication that the boxes are scrollable (I feel like the entries will get long) to which you say: scroll bars, which I respond: no (:
want to play ace attorney so bad but I dont have my 3ds, boohoo. I’m playing them completely in the wrong order, all at the same time, at different points of each game, it’s a mess, there is no timeline for me. I just love the courtroom baby… also I saw my imood history lmao. And id like to share it here

confession: i don't click on webamps. i say this because i wanted to make one, specifically for this page, but i don't think it will go well with the theme, and like i said, even i don't use them. but yeah, hey, hiii diary page open. this is really what my website is for but throughout every iteration i haven't been able to make or use a blog page. i literally think about what i would write all the time, but never had a place to.
when i first started thinking up this page, i was really ambitious and wanted to add a ton of different sections on here that i'd keep updated but i think this is all i'll leave for now. i'm happy to be working on my website again, i transferred over my site files so i can work on this on my school laptop. which i have major beef with. it blocks every single website, and it's not just on school wifi, but installed on the computer itself, so vpns don't work. social media like xitter and tumblr is blocked so i cant grab pictures or resources from there. but also things like pinterest and imgur are banned too, and my youtube is restricted, it's annoying. but my personal laptop isn't working (literally just stopped turning on) and i don't have an alternative and my fingers itch to code. i want to make a dream journal, i want to make some shrines/dedicated pages, tons of other stuff
in terms of me currently: school is miserable as always i hate school so much. i did talk to a new girl today though, the anxiety gut punch to walk up and strike conversation was worth it so i didn't have to be alone during my gym period. so that made today okay, but i still dread every day i have to go in. i have a lot of work to make up.
im writing all this in the visual studio code editor, it's really cumbersome, i'll write out my entries beforehand